Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Zombies, in romance?

Romance readers never fail to surprise me. I’m still bewildered about the popularity of male/male romances, not made popular by gay readers, but by heterosexual female readers. And now zombies are popular in romances. I can’t get the disgusting image of a brain eating, groaning, slobbering zombie out of my mind. This is not the ideal hero or heroine of a romance novel—at least in my opinion.
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Can you imagine anyone kissing or having sex with a zombie? Eew. At least a vampire or a werewolf can hold a conversation and look normal enough to be a romantic lead. Blood drinking vs. brain eating—I would pick blood drinking over brains any day. There is too much of an ick factor involved with zombies. This may be something that affects me personally because I was traumatized by watching the original Night of the Living Dead when I was a child. Nothing frightens or disgusts me more than a zombie. “Barbara, they’re coming for you.” I hear this dialog in my nightmares.
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I haven’t read any romances with zombies, but the only way for a zombie romance to work for me is if the hero and heroine are human and not zombies. Maybe zombies terrorize them or maybe they hunt zombies. But I don’t want to read about zombies having sex with other zombies or with anyone. Keep the zombies in horror novels and leave romance to the hunky vampires and werewolves.
Kelley Heckart
'Timeless tales of romance, conflict & magic'
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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Possibly Impossible

In January, many bloggers write about New Year's resolutions. They write about how to make said promises and which ones to stay clear of for sanity's sake. They'll blog about their own resolution list and the why's of it all.

Not me, though. Sorry. I strive to be different – but not difficult, mind you.

Christmas eve, I lay snuggled up to my husband in bed, tucked up against his side with my cheek on his chest and wrapped up in his big arms. Offshore there's a storm brewing so the wind is picking up and blowing the dead leaves around outside. All very romantic, cuddly type of stuff.

As usual, he falls asleep before I do. Probably because I drink more coffee than him. Just as I begin to drift off however, he rolls towards me and takes my chest pillow and source of warmth with him. Worse, his knee comes up and plows into my belly, pushing me away.

He's sleeping. He doesn't understand what he's doing and he doesn't do it on purpose.

Safely entrenched on my side of our king-size bed, I lay there and wondered how on Earth those romance book heroines can sleep all night plastered against their man. Those handsome, virile men don't push their delectable women away to spread out in skydiver positions.

I have bionic hearing at night. My power came into focus after I had my first baby. Sound asleep, I know who's gotten up at midnight and used the bathroom. I can hear our dogs out back and can tell which of the six is causing the ruckus.

So why is it the heroine will awaken, only to find herself—by some bizarre twist of fate—flung across the hero's body, never having stirred during all that body movement?

They can make love in the morning. Neither one ever has to use the bathroom first. Oh! The joys of not having morning breath either.

Gotta love fiction and the impossible possibilities! What have you tried or experienced that worked in novels but not in reality?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Wicked Word Wednesday - Episode 1 - Kiss


Welcome to the first installment of Wicked Word Wednesday. Today, I'd like to hit you right in the kisser with the wonderful, and wicked word, kiss. Mwah!

If smooching with a number wiz is high on your list of things to do, you might know that osculation is a term for kissing. Osculation happens in mathematics when there is contact between two curves or surfaces at three or more common points. They call this a kiss.

Though the origin is unknown, and at least one respected wordsmith reference has called it archaic, the word buss is interchangeable with the word kiss. Buss equals kiss, as bussed, bussing, and busses align with kissed, kissing, and kisses. I didn't find anything that said a busser would be a kisser – but if you're going to use such an obscure word, I guess the rules are yours to make and break at will.

Does anyone else notice how many food terms creep into the sexy stuff, and vice versa? Food can be sexy-sexy-sexy. Honey licked from a lover's body, whipped cream covered naughty bits, shots from a navel, trading mints during a kiss, all very erotic. It's no small wonder we have cookie kisses, chocolate kisses, meringue kisses, and scotch kisses.

Before all of this kissing, bussing, and osculating gets you all worked up, let's look at the seedier side of the kiss. Kiss ups, or kiss asses are everywhere. Don't you just want to tell them to kiss off? Just be careful if you do, so you don't kiss away something important, like your job. We cautious types like to avoid those kisses of death. Although, you might find that the new job you land in its place is the kiss of life that resuscitates you.

There are kiss similes to consider, like the kiss of perfume on your skin. In contrast to that, might be that little kiss you gave your co-worker's bumper in the overcrowded parking lot last week. Combination kisses are good too. Kisses and hugs at the end of a note, abbreviated with those darling X's and O's always encourage fuzzy warmth. A snog is a kiss that includes cuddles.

Don't forget the band, KISS. Who could? Still, they merit a mention. Also worth mentioning, are all the acronyms that are made from KISS. There are dozens, but since space and attention spans are limited, I'll only share my faves. Keep It Simple Sweetie would be number one on my list. Keep It Super Simple is a great reminder when you're introducing a new concept to someone. Keep It Safe & Sound is hard to argue with, no matter what 'it' may be.

A smack is enthusiastic, like a smooch. Smacks can also be light, like pecks. It depends on the context, and more than likely, on the recipient. These are usually reserved for those people we love, not the people we desire. That doesn't mean we can't plant a peck on the object of our desire - we can, and should. But, that's not the lip-lock we've been holding our collective breath for.

What we want, what our characters want, what our readers want our characters to want … is that deep, slow motion, set the world afire, soul kiss. Otherwise known as the French kiss or deep kiss, it's the Queen of Kisses. This kiss, it steals your breath, vanishes the outside world, erases common sense, makes your knees weak, your pulse race, your body quiver, and it has got to be shared. So, go hit your favorite hottie right in the kisser with one now. Kiss and tell; disguise it as fiction, but do kiss and tell.