Since the property damage from my last visit was so minimal, Tabitha graciously invited me back for another round! And, since I'm getting to know everyone, I wanted to take a little time and tell you what my "typical" writer's life looks like.
I get up bright and early at 5:30 every morning, to the sounds of birds chirping and the last of the nighttime crickets peeping. I bound out of bed, ready to start my day, jump in the shower, pour a cup of coffee, and sit down at my massive Louis Quinze desk. I spend a few leisurely moments catching up on the news and reading email, and then I start working, to the gentle strains of Mozart and Beethoven, while the sun rises gently in the east, welcoming me to the new day.
After a couple of hours, I'll have a nice breakfast and get back to work, where I'll be until lunchtime. .
*Record scratch sound effect*
Myth #1: I'm not a crack of dawn type of guy. The crack of noon's more my speed! Luckily, I work from home both at my day job and on my writing.
Myth #2: The early bird gets the worm, In my case, the early bird conjures dark fantasies of light-load shotgun shells. (No, I don't act on these. But this may become important in an upcoming WIP, and yes, there will be a quiz.)
Myth #3: I don't leap. At all. Ever. I'm not a freaking ninja and I'm not built for that. To say that I groggily stumble out of bed is much more accurate.
Myth #4: I shower when I have ten minutes to get ready. Otherwise, I rinse off the dirt and then settle into a steamy bath, where I'll be with my latest TBR project until the water starts to get cold.
Myth#5: Now that I'm ready to start my day, I grab a two-liter of Mountain Dew, a full pack of cigarettes, and a clean ashtray. The full items will be empty and the empty items full long before I get done with my day's work.
Myth #6: My desk cost me $20 at Wal-Mart.
Myth #7: "Leisurely" doesn't exist in my world or my vocabulary until the work is done. If I'm working on LESS than four things at any given time, someone's liable to ask me if I'm feeling okay. Multitasking is the only conceivable way I can get everything done that I need to!
Myth #8: I never watch the news. Least of all upon waking. If I want to be depressed or need proof that Darwin was right, then I'll look it over. Otherwise, my TV is very rarely on.
Myth #9: You will NEVER find the "classics" on my playlist. Substitute Metallica for Mozart and Black Sabbath for Beethoven and you're closer to the truth, with a liberal sprinkling of Tupac, LL Cool J, Paula Cole, and Melissa Etheridge.
Myth #10: If I'm seeing sunrise, you can bet I'm coming at it from the other side of midnight unless I'm sick, and I've probably been around the clock at least once already.
Myth #11: I eat once a day, and exercise for me constitutes getting into the car and driving to get more smokes or Mountain Dew. My preferred meal is dinner, at which time I usually eat what amounts to breakfast in most civilized countries. (This is because my body has been trained to consider my one meal of the day the end of the day, and so after I eat I'm not much good for anything.)
Oh, yeah. It's a glamour job. :)
Thanks for coming by and hanging out. I'll see y'all next month! (But, if you haven't had enough snark yet, come on by http://www.nobleromance.com, where I'll be hanging out today too!)
Until next time,
Best,
J.S. Wayne
