Down and Dirty Step #12 - Editing

             
               Although sometimes when you write, it may feel a bit magical, there is no magic wand that you can wave while writing that will make your words sound better or correct all your errors. Only you can do that. It's called revision and for most professional writers, it is the heart of writing. Sure, it's fun to throw words on a page, but it's even more fun to see them shine.

               The last step in the revision process is editing. You begin editing after your story revisions are done.

            When you edit your manuscript, you focus on:

Spelling, grammar, word choice, descriptions, adverbs/adjectives, sentence structure, length of sentences, overuse of certain words, smooth transitions between paragraphs, inconsistencies, incoherence, imbalance, shifting POV and style, use of the passive voice, pronoun ambiguity . . . yes, the list is long and somewhat tiresome, but this is the place where you can make your writing SHINE.

      

            It’s no wonder that most authors take as much time editing as they do revising and writing their original draft.

            Rule of thumb:  If you work with critique partners or if you have beta readers to give you feedback on your work AND they share that something you’ve written is confusing to them . . . that is a CLUE it needs to be rewritten.

            If a reader has to stop and re-read a passage, she is taken out of the story and that is never a good thing. 

            One of my favorite “how to write” books – Getting the Words Right is by Theodore Cheney, a college professor, who has some marvelous examples of student work and teacher comments with explanations that teach you how to look more critically at your work.  

           Go through his book and then you will begin to look more critically at your own work. For example:

Passive Voice versus Active Voice:

The authorization to proceed came from the president.  PASSIVE

The President authorized us to proceed. ACTIVE

Gunfire was heard by the peasants on the floor of the valley.  PASSIVE

Peasants on the valley floor heard gunfire. ACTIVE

The prisoners were herded down the camp’s main street by armed soldiers on horseback. PASSIVE

Armed soldiers on horseback herded the prisoners down the camp’s main street. ACTIVE

Using shorter, more active words:

If my eyes glance down from my window, I can see a parking lot with snow and ice. People carry packages, huddling over as they balance themselves carefully so as not to slip on the ice.

If my eyes glance down from my window, I can see a parking lot with snow and ice. People huddle over their packages and shuffle cautiously across the ice.

Using shorter, more active words WITH ANALYSIS:

Rose whimpered and leaned against the guardrail.  Then without warning she lifted her head, stared at her husband, and tossed herself over the edge of the bridge.

Rose whimpered and leaned against the guardrail.  She lifted her head, stared at her husband for a moment, and with an unexpected burst of strength, hurled herself over the rail.

Analysis:

“Tossed herself” lacked the drama that “hurled herself” presents to the reader. There’s also a little gain in emphasis by the alliteration in “hurled herself,” but the main purpose is to make her jump more dramatic and energetic.  She might toss an empty popcorn box over the rail, but a body requires hurling. 

Monica gasped as she raised her eyes to the bronzed stranger from the sloop, who posed now with his hands on his hips looking menacingly down at Ted’s recumbent body.

Monica gasped as she raised her eyes to the bronzed stranger from the sloop, who was now poised, fists on hips, looking down at Ted’s recumbent body.

Analysis:

Here “poised” is preferable to “posed.” A man may pose against a mantle piece, but if he’s standing on it high above an unsuspecting burglar, he’s poised, ready to leap—a much more suspenseful word.  “Fists on hips” make him more menacing than “hands on hips.” We can drop “menacingly.”  We are showing rather than telling. Yeah!

This blog concludes our twelve-part discussion on revision. 

Next week: new topic:

How the films and movies we watch imitate life . . .

Down and Dirty - Hook 'Em

Savvy authors manipulate the writing of their story so that they never end a chapter with characters going to sleep. They’ll send their character to bed, but oh, oh, not to sleep. Characters may jump into bed for more conflict, more action. 

Savvy authors never end a chapter by completely resolving an issue. They leave things hanging.  They want the reader to turn the page and continue reading . . . until 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning. It’s deliberately done.  It harkens back to the vintage newsreels where the helpless heroine was placed on the railroad tracks by the villian to lure the hero into a trap.  

Would the hero rescue the heroine in time before the train arrived? Come back to the theatre next week to find out.

As a savvy author works on revisions, they examine each chapter and deliberately make sure they have used a technique to pull the reader forward:

--They can end a chapter in the middle of a scene.  In Virginia Kantra’s Home Before Midnight, the heroine Bailey Wells realizes at the end of Chapter 12 that she wants the hero Steve, the cop who’s investigating the death of her boss’ wife. She kisses him and he kisses her back, an intoxicating kiss that knocks her off balance.  Kantra could have continued the scene there, but she doesn’t. Instead she puts these two aroused people, in the midst of their lovemaking at the end of the chapter.  Steve, the hero, pushes Bailey away, and says, “Enough.” He is having second thoughts.  The chapter ends.  Now, who isn’t going to turn the page to see what happens next.  Very powerful.

Other techniques include:

--They can end the chapter with the entrance of a new character. 

--They can end the chapter with a provocative statement which gets the reader wondering what the heck is going on or what is coming next.

--They can end with an unanswered question, which again inspires an I want to know more attitude from the reader. 

But let’s not forget the beginning of the story either.  It's equally important to pull the reader into the world of your story as quickly as possible. Personally, I love when savvy authors begin somewhere in the middle of the scene and then retreat backwards a bit.  Sometimes they begin with dialogue and then stop and provide just the right amount of dialogue to give us setting and circumstance so that we’re not floating around confused.  

They hook us, then ground us.  Love it!!  

Down and Dirty - End and Begin Each Chapter with A Hook - Step # 7 in Revising Your Story.  

See you next month when we delve into how to describe your setting so your reader doesn’t skip over it!

Down and Dirty - What Keeps a Reader Turning Pages?

         

            

Tension and conflict in your story keep the reader turning pages. The basic rule of thumb when writing a novel: in the first fifty pages -- and this is according to top literary  agent Donald Maass in his Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook -- cut all the scenes that take place in kitchens, living rooms, and cars.  Cut all the scenes that involve drinking tea or coffee or taking showers or baths. 

And that is just for starters.

Why? After years of reading manuscripts from new authors and experienced New York Times Bestselling authors, Maass has discovered that these kind of scenes usually lack tension. They do not add new information, subtract allies, deepen conflict, or open new dimensions of characer.  Scenes like these, on the contrary, usually relax tension.  

And when tension is relaxed, readers become distracted, close your book and find something else to do.  They look for a snack. They turn on the television.  They check their smart phone. They go to the movies.  They go to bed.

When readers sit down and read a book, in every scene, the expect something to happen. They anticipate.  They wait.  The characters in every scene should be in confict.  Each character should have their own agenda and reasons for doing what they do. And even when characters are in harmony, and they reach a kind of truce, that truce should lead to more issues and problems and ratchet up the tension even more.  And truces should always be short-lived.  

Alice Orr, literary agent and author, in her book No More Rejections offers an exercize you can use when you have a scene that needs more conflict and tension.  She suggests that you take each character in the scene and write from his or her point of view the answers to the following questions:

What is my major source of conflict with ________? (the other character)

What do I lead this person to believe I think about him/her?

What do I really think about him/her?

What do I say about this person behind his/her back?

What significant untruth have I told this person?

What significant secret have I kept from this person?

What past connections do this person and I have that have not yet been revealed?

What does this person think I want from him?

The answers to these questions, of course, will provide you with enough conflict to ratchet up your scene.  You will see your characters differently.  They may be smiling outwardly in the scene, but deep down they are worried or maneuvering their way around the other character.  They’ve told a lie or they have this secret.  In truth, they can’t stand the other character, but they’re duty bound to hold the line and pretend that they do.  No one is a complete open book.  

You get the idea.  Conflict and tension is the Step #6 in Down and Dirty Dozen - Twelve Step Program - Revising Your Fictional Work.

Special thanks to James Woodward for use of his conflict photo!

Down and Dirty - Naming a Character X

          If you’re a writer, there can be no greater challenge than the task of naming your characters.  Years ago, I remember hearing the famous Nora Roberts admit that when she began a novel, even though she had the idea of a plot, when she started to write, she often used an X to indicate her hero or her heroine because coming up with a good name was a challenge.  In that moment of time she just wanted to write the story, and she wasn’t about to stop and try to come up with a name.  

She’d worry about that later--which in Nora speak probably meant that she’d take time and energy and do it right.  

Because real writers don’t throw any name down on the page.  

Professional writers use a number of tricks to name their characters.  One is to write the alphabet out from A-Z.  The rule of thumb is that no two characters in the their story can have first names that begin with the same letter of the alphabet.  It makes sense really--similar sounds at the beginning of too many names would only confuse the readers -- like three sister protagonists who have the names Jill, Jane and June.

When I was writing my novel, Wild Point Island, some of my character names were made up and some were names of real historical people from a manifest of a boat that sailed from England to North Carolina in the late 1590’s.  That situation created an additional challenge.

Here is a grid of the main characters from my first novel Wild Point Island.  I put an asterist near the characters who were real.  

A-Ambrose Viccars*

B-

C-Charles Florrie*

D-

E- Ella Pattenson

F- 

H- Hugh Pattenson*

L- Lily Pattenson

P- Prat* 

R-Rose Payne*

S-Simon Viccars*

T-Theodore Pattenson (Uncle Teddy)*

W- Mr. Wyles*

This is the third step in my Down and Dirty, Twelve Steps to Revision.  To create a story that is marketable and sells, make sure you check the names of your characters.  

But let’s explore this concept further.  What are the other rules of thumb when naming characters?

Make the names pronounceable and easy to remember.  And to go further with that concept, unless you’re writing a comedy where irony is the rule, a character’s name should reflect their personality or appearance.  Writers often research the etymology of names and even though some of the subtle nuances may be lost on the readers, it can help you feel more comfortable with your characters.  

It’s also important to stick with as few variations of the name on the page as possible.  Even though in real life, we may be known by different names to different people--our aunt calls us one thing, our brother calls us something else, in the world of fiction, if a character in your story is known as Caroline, Carie, Linney, Mooney, your story will start to feel like a confusing Russian novel. 

It’s no wonder that an author will use an X before she comes up with the precise name she needs. 

Next month,  we’ll continue with Down and Dirty and explore the importance of having concrete and visible goals in your story. 

             

Down and Dirty Dozen - Twelve Step Program

Hemingway at his typewriter writing/revising.

       You’re probably wondering -- twelve step program to what? Getting sober?  Losing weight?  Finding the love of your life?  Winning the lottery?  Writing a best seller?

You’re getting closer.  I’m a writer, a publisher author and attracted to all things literary.  Recently, I had the yen to teach again so I signed up at the local library and attracted a healthy group of writers who typically wanted to hear all I knew about the topic of revision.  

This down and dirty dozen refers to the twelve steps I’ve found useful over the years when faced with a manusript that needs revision and editing.

Not very exciting, you’re thinking.  Well, let me begin with a story.  When the Paris Review asked Ernest Hemingway what compelled him to rewrite the ending of A Farewell to Arms thirty nine times, he said, “Getting the words right.”

Hemingway's first novel 

Here’s the interview in part between George Plimpton and Hemingway:

           Plimpton: How much rewriting do you do?

     Hemingway:  It depends.  I rewrote the ending to A Farewell to Arms, the last page of it, thirty-nine times.

     Plimpton: Was there some technical problem there? What was it that had stumped you?

     Hemingway: Getting the words right.

Hemingway's passport photo--what he would have looked like when he wrote A Farewell to Arms

        I am in awe of that compulsion to get the words right.  Revision and editing.  The two go together but are different in my mind.  

Revision implies making big changes in writing, focusing on the elements of your story, and the technique I most like to use is the “thread technique,” which an historical romance writer taught me years ago.  She said that revision isn’t just rereading and tinkering with the words on the page because when you do that, you tend to get lost in your own story.  Instead if you trace only one element through your story, your focus will be cleaner. 

For example, when I was trying to sell Wild Point Island, my editor Donna asked me to make revisions in the relationship between the two sisters in the novel.  She said that Ella always forgave Lily, and I was destroying a good source of conflict.  She wanted me to ramp up the conflict and the tension and suggested that Ella not forgive Lily.  

        Using the “thread technique,” I isolated every scene between Ella and Lily, examined it, and made the revisions.  Where Ella would have found some reason to make excuses for Lily, this time she didn’t.  Instead she struggled to understand why her sister was sabotaging her efforts to save their father.  But each time her sister acted against her, she found it more difficult to understand.  Finally, she agreed to have her sister “sequestered” so she couldn’t do any more harm.  Her decision to take action is a result of a slow build up of frustration.  

This “thread technique” would have been equally useful if I had wanted to isolate the point of view in each scene or the setting or the conflict between the hero and heroine or the development of the love relationship.   

Editing, to me, is what you do after the revision process is completed.  Theoretically.  When you edit, you focus on the language, the grammar, the spelling, the word choice, the sentence structure, the overuse of certain words, the passive voice, pronoun ambiguity -- anything in your writing which makes your meaning obtuse or confusing to your reader.  

My rule of thumb to writers is that if you’re working in a critique group or if you have beta readers who give you feedback on your work and they share that something you’ve written has caused confusion, REWRITE IT.

If a reader has to stop and reread a passage, he will be taken out of your story and that is not a good thing!

  Stay tuned next month when I will actually begin with Step #1 of Down and Dirty Dozen . . . BEGIN YOUR STORY IN THE RIGHT PLACE: THE “INCITING INCIDENT”

             My paranormal romance, Wild Point Island, is now available in mass market paperbook and e book at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com.  4.8 stars

“This was a very compelling and suspenseful story with a hot forbidden romance mixed in. It was such a creative story - definitely not your everyday boring and predictable romance novel. I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. Can't wait for the movie to be made! “

“The concept of the lost colony of Roanoke is interestingly transported into an alternate reality making Wild Point Island an intriguing read. Mystery, magic and secrets are layered into every scene as family betrayals weave through every chapter.”