Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Whining Damn it! Put Your Big Girl Panties On An Shut the f*^k Up!

This is one of those days I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I have so much to do but my brain is stuck in repeat mode. All the things I need to get done are screaming at me but none of them are actually getting done. I am in sensory overload, which usually means my brain is stuck in a nasty loop that consist of a long list of to do’s that need to get done. This is where I take a few deep breaths and hope to feel more relaxed and be able to function better. No my brain is still in hyper drive but not getting much done.

I am usually really good under pressure but sometimes it catches up to me. I also tend to over extend myself all the time. Yeah, that’s me I finish one thing and add something else to the mix. I am a glutton from punishment. LOL!

Right now I have to get this blog done by Thursday. Okay not a problem but all I can think about is all the other things I need to do. Grr! So I stop to write it and all that comes to mind is all the stress clouding my brain.

I am in the process of having a contest for my website right now and that has taken up a lot of time. Which is fine it was my idea and I am very excited about it. I can’t wait to read all the stories and find out what the judges have to say. So it is a good thing but has added to my stress.

I just finished my writing course so that is one thing off my plate. What a relief that one is. I was reading textbooks all the time and taking test and writing short stories. I can’t complain, my grades have stayed very high. All I ask for is to graduate with an A and it looks like I am going too. I have one story to clean up and send off then I am done.

I also update my website once a week. Which isn’t bad most of the time but sometimes I am just tired and don’t want to deal with the site. But that pretty much goes for anything once I hit that point.

I also just signed up for a workshop. This one I am excited about. I think it is going to be a blast. A few of my friends are taking the course as well and that will only make it even better.

Then come the fact that my house needs to be cleaned. The hubby needs some attention and gets all crabby when he doesn’t get it. LOL! Add a grumpy husband to the mix and the day just gets worse.

Oh and I have to find the time to write my next chapter. Where to find the time when all these things are dragging me down. I have to tread water to reach the top because I feel like I am drowning. I haven’t been able to swim fast enough lately.

I have a beta read I have finished but promised to look at it chapter by chapter and haven’t had the time for that either and I feel really bad about it. My crit partner is so sweet and said don’t worry about it, get it done when you can. But I committed myself to this and feel it needs to get done asap.

So here I am all this is running through my head and as I sit at my pc my mind is pouring over all the things that need to get done. Needless to say nothing is getting done. My brain wants to take a vacation from the stress of my life. It is a non-stop battle. I will get over it and I do handle stress pretty well but I am so behind from having all six of our kid for the summer, now I am looking at it and wondering where to start. I may take a few days off and regroup.

I am also worried my son graduates from his AIT in October and will find out where he will be shipped too. It will probably be Afghanistan of Korea. This is just another thing that keeps me awake at night. I pray he will stay safe.

Sorry this was just a great big whine fest. Too many things to do and never enough time. I need a secretary and an editor and someone to run my website. Then I could just write. LOL! Yeah, right, I don’t have the money for any of those things. So I guess I am going to have to put my big girl panties on and suck it up. Ok, I am putting my big girl panties on now. No don’t feel any different but hopefully by next week I will.

Sorry for my big whiny ass this week. I just really needed to get it all off my chest and actually I do feel a little better. Maybe the big girl panties are starting to work after all. LOL!

When night falls passions blaze.

Tabitha Blake


Tabitha Blake said...

Yeah, it has been really crazy! But it is just something I am going through at the moment. It will get better at least that is what I keep telling myself. I just had something else pop up but things happen it build character. LOL! Glad you enjoyed it. As for the title it made me laugh too.

Brenda said...

What else just happened? I hope it's something good

Tabitha Blake said...

Nope not good. I just lost a bloger. Oh well what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Right? LOL! I was expecting it she has a lot on her plate right now.

Brenda said...

Crap. Hey, ask, you know who, lol, I'll keep hounding her!

Tabitha Blake said...

You know who is going to say you know what! LOL!

martha ramirez said...

Glad u feel a little better! Promise it really will get better, but just remember if you're like me that "to do" list will always have something on it.
Don't forget to take some quiet time out for urself b4 you go crazy LOL.. Seriously. I know how it is:)

Tabitha Blake said...

Thanks Mart. You always brighten my day. You are my cheerleader and have the right words to say or the right link to share. LOL! It will get better. I think I am just worried about my son and everything else is adding to that stress. He is done in Oct then he is home for 10 day and then I find out where he will be sent. Saying good bye is going to kill me. How do you say okay bye and hope you stay safe? I think I am going to have many sleepless nights. Okay I will leave it at that before I cry. Thanks hun your the best!

martha ramirez said...

Aw, Carey. Praying for you. Yes, that would be very tough. May you be blessed with peace and strength!!

Tabitha Blake said...

Thanks so much! It is tough but I know a few friends that have kids over seas and they try to keep me leveled out. You are so sweet. Thank you again for the prayers!

jcdeacons said...

Goodness...that's a lot of stuff rolling around in your brain. I hope you feel better. And I hope your son is safe. :)


Tabitha Blake said...

Thanks JC. The stress comes and goes its all part of life in general and writing. I also want to welcome you aboard NN! We are glad to have you!

saukra said...

YAY!!! Glad to have you as part of the NN team, JC.