Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Deleted Scene: A Hunter’s Angel

Available everywhere Ebooks are sold July 20
This week is an exciting one for me... On Friday, my first published novel, A Hunter’sAngel, releases! Yay! Throw the confetti! Pop those champagne corks!
Yeah, I’m a little hyper about it all. And I’m having a blast.
Today, just for you all, I’m sharing a special treat.  A deleted scene.  This has not been professionally edited, since I’d cut it long before I submitted it to The Wild Rose Press, so forgive any mistakes...LOL
Hope you enjoy!
Also remember to leave a comment with your email address. I’m running a contest.  (See below for details.)

Shane watched from under the large oak tree in the side yard of a dilapidated farmhouse. A mixture of blocky plastic toys, rusted farm equipment, and an engine block resting on cinderblocks were strewn over the muddy yard. In an old barn behind the house, a dim light shown between the cracks in the old oak planks. A screech and a thumping of metal hitting metal followed a chorus of curses.
“Fuck it, I’m goin’ to bed. Sheryl will just have to come here to pick ‘em up in the mornin’, if she wants ‘em that damn bad,” grumbled the young man inside the barn.

The boy was alone. The only other heartbeats near came from the old clapboard house—the young, small hearts of children.
He moved to the battered doorway of the barn-turned-garage. The plank doors hung opened, despite the cold night. Aged to twenty-four years, named Johnny Markel, recently divorced from a cheating wife, two kids... Shane ruffled through the boy’s mind further. He worked at a factory he hated, but for his kids he’d put up with the crap from his boss. Someday he’d finish the computer training and get a better job. Maybe go to real college.

Pitiful. Shane backed out of the boy’s mind and allowed him to take notice of him.
“Hey, who the hell are you?” Johnny’s brusqueness didn’t mask his spike of fear.

Shane raised a brow and smirked. “I’m your worst nightmare.”
Before the boy could react, Shane moved in behind Johnny too fast for the boy to see the maneuver. Shane entered Johnny’s mind again and paralyzed him. Panic came to the boy with blinding ferocity.

“It pleases me greatly you aren’t heeding the warnings of the local ineffectual law enforcement. You know the ones—stay inside and don’t go out at night alone.” Shane allowed Johnny control of his facial expressions, and he laughed when the boy’s eyes bugged. “You do know there is a serial killer on the loose, do you not? Oh, what is the media calling me...” Shane circled the boy and pretended to think as he tapped a finger on his cheek. “Ah, yes, the Alleghany Slasher. But trust me. I’m more frightening than any mortal killer.”
“No!” Johnny shouted when Shane gave him control of his voice.

Shane moved behind him again. “Tell me, Johnny,” Shane said near his ear like a lover. Johnny’s shock washed over Shane along with his terror. “I know a great deal more than your name, Johnny. Your simple mind reads like an open book—a very boring and uninspiring one at that. Do you believe in the undead?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Did you drug me or somethin’?”
“Oh, this modern time can be so despairing.” Again, Shane circled his prey. “Mortals are bombarded every second with information, and science has made people shortsighted and unbelieving in the unexplained, the mystical world.” He stopped and held Johnny’s gaze. “Mortals have no idea how limited their science is.”

Johnny’s mind sent a stronger signal to flee. Shane blocked it, but not before a shudder ran though Johnny’s paralyzed body.
“Why can’t I move? Lemme go!”

“Oh, some fight. I like that. Makes the blood tastier with adrenaline.” Becoming weary of the game, Shane moved in behind him again.
“Blood?” Johnny croaked. Shane let Johnny look over his shoulder, and Shane allowed his eyes to take on the demonic glow of a vampire about to feed. His canines descended. The scream that followed from the boy was piercing.

With Shane’s mental compulsion, Johnny tilted his head, offering his neck. Johnny whimpered, pathetically pleaded, “Please, I have two little kids. Don’t hurt them. They’re all I have.”
“Yes, I can hear their hearts. Dear little children, I’m sure. So innocent, so sweet.” Shane smiled, baring his teeth. The pulse at the base of Johnny’s neck beat erratically, and Shane laughed. “Ha! You didn’t even know you had a worst nightmare until you met me.”

Johnny cried out again as Shane sank his fangs into the warm flesh. Instantly, the boy stopped trying to struggle, and as Shane drained him of life, he writhed in as much complete terror as venom-induced bliss.
Once his heart stopped, Shane slit his throat with an authentic Bowie knife he’d pilfered from a French trapper he’d preyed upon along the northern Mississippi River almost two centuries ago.

He dropped the body and melted into the shadows outside.

To find out more about A Hunter’s Angel check out my website (http://ceradubois.wordpress.com/a-hunters-angel-the-book-tour/) for a schedule of my blog stops during the book tour. I will be presenting a series of short stories called The Vampire Encounters. Follow me as I interview Ian McHenry, Master Vampire Lucas Pomeroy, Vivian van Dyke Pomeroy, and have a scary run-in with Shane Chamberlain. Hope to see you along the way.

Contest: Please leave a comment and your email address.
Two Lucky Posters will get a PDF copy of Bloodwine. (for info on this short story click)—drawing to happen on July 20.

Stalker Prize: Every Poster will also be entered into a drawing of a $10 gift card from either Amazon or Barnes and Noble (winner’s choice)—drawing to happen on September 1.

(Stalker means that, if you follow my book tour [link to list above], for every comment your name will go into the hat. So, for example, if you comment ten times on ten different blogs, you have ten chances at winning.)

 Good Luck!


teresa said...

Wow! That was an awesome scene! Chilling! So glad it's morning.
Best wishes for a wonderful release weeks!
Teresa Blue

Jerri said...

Fantastic scene, Sara!

christine warner said...

Great scene. It's so hard to have to delete a good scene from your story, but sometimes you have to in order to get everything where it needs to be.

And congrats on your upcoming release...you have every right to be hyper about it...YAY!!!!!!

Jennifer Lowery (Kamptner) said...

If this was a deleted scene then the book is going to be awesome!! Can't wait to read it!

Nancy Jardine said...

Haven't read too many vampire stories, but that scene is ruthless!

Sheri Fredricks said...

That must have been like pulling out fingernails to decide to cut that scene! Wow!

Neecy said...

Word counts sometimes stinks! This was really good, but that hurt to cut!

Brenda said...

OMG! I loved your deleted scene--it was so good.


Sara Walter Ellwood / Cera duBois said...

Thanks everyone!!

I din't cut this scene for word count issues, but because with the villain's POV it gave away too much of the story and left the suspense at the door.

Shane, however, was a fun character to write. I enjoyed writing his sick personality (not sure what that says about me...LOL)

This scene and one other one with him and a minor character, who also had a POV in the original rendering of this story, were two of my favorites and I hated axeing them.

Thanks again everyone for stopping by!

bn100 said...

Nice scene. Thanks for sharing.


Jenna said...

Loved this scene and I so get why writing a really bad guy is fun. And Shane seems to be quite a villain here. Delicious!


Sara Walter Ellwood / Cera duBois said...

bn100 and Jenna, thanks for coming by. Glad you enjoyed my creepy scene...

hotcha12 said...



hotcha12 said...



Sara Walter Ellwood / Cera duBois said...

Hotcha12---Thanks. I was blessed by the book cover gods with this one.

Carol Kilgore said...

Sometimes those scenes just have to go. Sigh.

hotcha12 said...




Sara Walter Ellwood / Cera duBois said...

And the winners are......

Teresa Blue and hotcha12! You both won the PDF copies of my short story BLOODWINE!

Remember there's more winning to be had... Every time you post during my book tour, your name goes into the hat for the stalker prizes....

Congrats and good luck!