Friday, August 12, 2011

Shamefully, Shameless Self Promotion


Hello everyone. Hope you had a very productive month since last we conversed. As usual, coffee, tea, cookies, and donuts are on the side table—help yourselves.

So, were you wondering about the title to this blog? Did you groan and want to stop reading?

Sorry, but this blog post is exactly what the title says it is: a shameless self promotion of my self pubbed short story called ZOMBORO VIRUS, available on smashwords, apple, and Barnes and Noble. I’ll leave the links at the end just in case you are interested.

And to get you interested, I came up with a poem. Be warned, a poetry writer I am not. But here’s my lame attempt anyway for what it’s worth.

*clears throat*

There once was a guy name Major Trevor Dyer. He was stuck in a situation most dire.

The dreaded zombie apocalypse finally came. The world as we know it will never be the same.

The smell of blood and gore fills the air. Rotting corpses of the dead were everywhere.

One bite or scratch is all it takes. So carry a gun for goodness sakes!

If zombies, blood and guts are things you like, head over to smashwords and give me a like.

And if you’re feeling generous, go hence and buy it ‘cause it’s only 99 cents.

Did my little poem do it for ya? No? Well, I’ll have to try again. Maybe this time I’ll be a little more subtle.

Don’t let anyone fool you. Self publishing is not buy my story easy. This self promoting Zomboro Virus stuff is for the birds. I feel like such a heel. But I have no choice but to shamefully please, please buy my story self promote. And I can’t stand putting up links—you must be getting so sick of I know you want to read it seeing links to my story, available on smashwords, apple, and B and N. But since I chose to self publish, this shamefully shameless self you can’t take it another second, you have to read Zomboro Virus promotion is needed.

I’m going to post an excerpt. LOL, I hear your groans!!

Excerpt from Zomboro Virus.

A deep growl penetrated Trevor’s thoughts. In one smooth motion, he grabbed his M17 shotgun attached to a strap slung over his shoulder, and aimed it toward the doorway.

A young female zombie, no more than twenty, stepped into the room. She might have been pretty once, before the disease ate at her brain and ravished her body.

Her tangled blonde hair was matted with blood and dirt. Red and black blotches covered her cheeks, neck, and her exposed arms. Under the filth encrusting her hands, the fingers were a deep purple--almost black. Septicemia had set in.

The capillaries in her eyes had ruptured, turning the whites to red. Blood and gore stained her green sweater from the ripped collar to the waist of her filthy jeans.

She lurched forward and then crouched.

Trevor tightened his grip on the gun and stared down the barrel. Her black fingers flexed and blood stained lips curled up in a snarl, revealing broken teeth. Bits of flesh clung from the jagged edges.

Fear zipped up his spine and hatred filled his soul.

The zombie coughed and clutched at her distended belly. Blood poured from her nostrils and dripped onto the tiled floor in fat drops. Retching sounds came from her throat, and then thick yellowish goo streaked with blood spewed from her mouth onto the floor.

Holy fuck! He could have sworn he saw a finger mixed in with the puke.

The zombie tried to shove as much of the mess back into her mouth. Incoherent noises combined with unmistakable swallowing sounds as more of the oatmeal-like vomit oozed from her mouth.

Pity suddenly shoved aside Trevor’s revulsion and he tried to look beyond the disease that had turned this poor woman into a living nightmare.

The Zomboro virus had been created by a select team of scientists funded by the United Nations to help put an end to terrorists groups. Believing they had created the perfect weapon, the soldiers who they secretly infected were released into the terrorist’s camps. But it had backfired, and now the virus had spread to every country in the world.

He leveled his shotgun and fired. The blast tore a fist-sized hole through her chest, shattering her spine before exiting between her shoulder blades. The force slammed her backwards. She slid down, leaving a trail of bloody ooze on the light green wall.

Did this pique your interest?????

Thanks so much for reading my crazy, shameless promotion.

Here are links just in case.



Barnes and Noble: coming soon—about one week.

Diesel ebooks: coming soon—about one week.

Scrollmotion: coming soon—about one week.

Sony: coming soon—about one week.

Amazon: coming soon—probably available in September.


Casea Major said...

Brenda - You are too cute! That excerpt grossed me out which is good because I think that was your intent.

Allison Merritt said...

Boy, it's a good thing I didn't eat breakfast. ;)

For the record, I like the poem. Very catchy. Nice detail in the excerpt with the finger and then trying to re-eat the puke. I have to share this with my husband because he gets really squeamish about stuff like puke. I love it!

Brenda said...

LOL, Casea, yes, I was going for the "gross" factor. I hope I didn't gross you out too much, hehehe.

Allison....I didn't even think of the readers who might be eating breakfast while reading....maybe I should have posted a warning: Due to the graphic barfing content, eating while reading is not advised.

Well, i better go post this to my fb and twit page--yep, more shameless self promoting.

SummerMahan said...

Shameless! Your poem was too funny and the scene sooo gross. Thanks for bringing the donuts that I couldn't even enjoy. lol.
Now I'm going to have to go buy...because well you got me interested.

Charli Mac said...

Wow, this is really good Brenda. Shame I don't do dead people. LOL. But you have the gift of the written word. Hit me up when you got something without the gore. LOL.

Tabitha Blake said...

There should never be shame attached to self promoting. Writers have to get word out to their readers. And your poem was great! I loved it! I will post this to my Facebook for you as well. Hugs!

D'Ann said...

Wow, Bren. Great poem. Now that I'm queasy and feeling the need to be sick, I'll let you go.

Angie Cox said...

Great Job. The poem rocked it and the excerpt, while gross got me intersted.

Martha Ramirez said...

So cute! So excited for you, Brenda!

Sheri Fredricks said...

I've bought a copy of ZOMBORO VIRUS and have to say I loved it.

Yes, it grossed me out to the point of near gagging in parts, but SO WORTH IT! Hehehe

I especially liked your subliminal messages hidden in the paragraph before the excerpt! LOL!!!

The poem...well...keep writing fiction, Brendan! You do it very well.

Jenna said...

Love your writing, Brenda. But this was not the excerpt to read right after lunch. The gross-out factor hit a 10. Maybe I could read it on an empty stomach. LOL

And promote,promote, promote! Shameless or otherwise! Just do it! :)

FarrahJoceline said...

My kind of gore! loved the excerpt : )

Sheri Fredricks said...

Just for grins, I read the excerpt again AFTER LUNCH!! lol

Eve Edwards said...

Very descriptive, Brenda! Might be a little too gory for me and give me nightmares;) But it definitely sounds like a fascinating book.

Gotta self-promote, even shamelessly sometimes!

Brenda said...

Hello everybody. I'm home from work. Not only was it a long day, but I ended up with the worst headache. After a couple of pills and a lay down, I'm feeling better.
I want to thank all of you for stopping by and commenting.
I'm sorry if I grossed anyone out.
LOL, I'm also glad you you guys didn't think my shameless display of promoting wasn't too over the top!!!
You all rock!

Daryl Devore said...

Love it. Great job.
You can be incharge of my shameless self promotion!

Brenda said...

LOL, thanks, Daryl. But I think I may need some help in the promotion department.